You are the 5 people you spend the most time with.

5 people you spend the most time with

Jim Rohn, is known for the quote,

You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

Have you ever reflected on the positive (or negative) impact these 5 people create in your life?

Do you have that one person in your life that is always grumpy? They constantly complain about their life, lack of financial freedom, dead-end jobs, the government, etc. When you are around that person, you get pulled down into a negative mood, too.

Even if you were having a great day, a grumpy person can cause you to be grumpy. Humans are easily influenced by the people around us. Our moods and outlooks can change depending on those that we spend time with.

Take a look at your life. Who are the 5 people you spend the most time with? Are they constantly in a bad mood? Do they complain about their life? Do they always bring you down when you have an exciting win or moment you are proud of? Do you need to find new, positive people in your life?

Think about if you had a group of 5 people that brought you encouragement and positivity! How would you feel spending time with them? What would your conversations be like? Would you talk about growth as a person? Would you discuss achievement as a nurse practitioner? How would your life be impacted if you had positive, encouraging people? What would you be able to accomplish?

Let’s take a look at steps to transition from negative people in your life to positive people!

1. Be aware of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

Make a list of the 5 people you spend the most time with! Literally write it down! Who made your list? Is it a spouse? A family member? A friend? A fellow nurse practitioner or colleague? Once you have compiled your list, reflect on who is positive and who is negatively impacting your life. Follow the steps below to make some changes!

Side note: If you are a parent like me, your kids are likely on that list 🤣. My kids are actually the perfect examples of people I want in my life. They are always playing and laughing without a care in the world. They encourage me in my work, even if they don’t fully understand what I do for a living. They help me to slow down and enjoy the moment. Kids live life without the negativity and stress adults have.

2. End the relationship if it is holding you back.

This can be very difficult to no longer spend time with a negative person. But you have to reflect and realize the impact they are creating in your life. It is very hard to have a positive money mindset when the people around you constantly complain that they are broke. It is hard to take care of your health and wellness when the people around you constantly shame you about your weight.

Sometimes, it is best to end that relationship. You don’t even have to have a confrontation. Just slowly stop answering their phone calls or decline an invite to spend time together. You don’t have to explain or feel guilty for ending the negative relationship.

The people you are trying to remove may be upset by the sudden change in your relationship (this is a sign they don’t need to be in your life anyways). But stay strong! You deserve happiness and positivity! Who are the 5 people you spend the most time with and what negative people do you need to remove from your life?

3. Add positive people in your life.

If the negative person is a family member or colleague, it may difficult to end the relationship. Instead, try adding positive people! Do you know of a successful nurse practitioner or person in your community that you idolize? Do you have those friends that are always encouraging you? Is there someone you know who is more successful than you?

Just by being around that person, you will feed off the positive energy! Who can you add to your 5 people you spend the most time with list?

4. Use resources to bring positivity to your life.

If you have a hard time finding these people in real life, try using resources! For example, I listen to a lot of podcasts and audiobooks on personal development and growth. I tune in nearly everyday to get a dose of encouragement, positivity, and empowerment. Follow positive social media accounts to bring you the uplifting you need! What kind of resources are available to help you feel empowered?

Take some time to reflect on your list of the 5 people you spend the most time with and assess the impact (positive or negative) they have on your life! Then make the changes discussed above and see how much your life changes, for the better!

Erica D the NP is a family nurse practitioner and burnout coach. Erica created The Burned-out Nurse Practitioner to help overwhelmed APRNs create work-life balance, overcome nurse practitioner burnout, and advocate for themselves. The Burned-out Nurse Practitioner offers online courses, coaching, and support. Learn more at

For time management and charting tips, check out The Nurse Practitioner Charting School– The one stop for all documentation resources created specifically for nurse practitioners. Learn more at

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